Don’t feel bad about being sad. It’s an awful, awful thing. I feel the same sometimes - I feel like my grief takes away from her, like I shouldn’t be allowed to feel this say when she felt so much worse. But I can’t help it. It’s reflex. I wake up, gain my senses, and it knocks me breathless. I make tea and cry because I see her smiling. I think about the fact that she’s gone forever, that the last time I’ll ever see any of her is at her funeral, that well never make covers of sad songs on my out of tune piano.. She’s everywhere, I cannot get her out of my head, it hurts so fucking much and I feel so guilty for feeling so awful.. It’s hard.
I’m sorry this is such a mess I might be able to form something coherent in the morning
Thank you